So Many Thoughts Running Through My Head

I try to stay positive. I try to be happy. I try to be optimistic that things will look up. I try to believe that I can count on people when they tell me things. I try to think happy thoughts…but it seems the more I try, the harder it all gets. I know things will happen for me, and when they do they’re going to be great…until then though, all I can do is continue to try. I feel like the Little Engine That Could…but instead of chanting “I think I can, I think I can”, my mantra is “I know I can, I know I can”. I do. I know I can be successful, I know there are people I can count on, I know my happy thoughts will become reality. I will continue to try, I will continue to be optimistic, I will be the best version of myself I can possibly be…and it will pay off.

I need to find a job. In order to find a job that is more than 5 minutes from home, I need to get a car…that way I can also get to my bartending classes that I paid for months ago, finish the two week course, and promptly get a job doing that. Without a job though…I can’t get a car. It’s like when you’re looking for work and everyone keeps saying “must have experience (usually 2-5 years at least) working in this field/doing this kind of work/in this setting/etc”…but how are you supposed to GET the experience if no one will hire you…because you don’t have experience!!

Sigh…this is all one big, huge, gigantic, massive headache. Sometimes I feel like screaming, sometimes I feel like crying, sometimes I feel like making cookies and not bothering to bake them and instead just sit on the couch watching movies while I eat cookie dough…but, in the end I know everything will work out and I’ll be fine. It’s a long road, and it’s not going to be an easy one, but I’ll find something soon and the weights will be lifted off my shoulders. Until then though, man could I use a hug!

Damn that Catch 22…